Touts have been labelled ‘disgusting’, ‘immoral’ and ‘not nice’ after they sold tickets to Tendulkar’s one-man theatre show ‘Me and My Runs’ at ten times the ticket’s face value. The show, in which the wonder batsman from India describes in detail all of his 8,000 test runs, has gone down so well, it is attracting aficionados and haters of the ancient game in equal numbers.

Mr and Mrs Tablestone, who had previously seen Cats and Annie said they loved the intense month-long show. The female member of the marriage partnership, Mrs Tablestone, said: ‘The show started slowly with Tendy describing seven singles, but barely an hour into the show, he describeda back foot drive which netted him four runs. It sent a shiver up my spine and brought the excitement of the first day of an India Versus New Zealand test to seat 87-C, where I was sitting.”

Danny Herbert, who used to sell ice cream at Lords but now sells them in the theatre, said it was just like being a t a real cricket match by declaring: “Half the crowd at any one time were asleep.”

Although Tendulker’s show is due to finish in another month, the touts will not have to look far to find another inflated ticket price money spinner, because as from next week, Geoffrey Boycott’s: ‘My best 1000 defensive shots’ hits the Royal Albert Hall.